so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
