Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
