Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
