Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
