you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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