All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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