Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
