Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
