I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
