I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
