this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
