Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
