I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Four minutes until I can fart!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
