you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
