Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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