i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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