i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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