My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
