im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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