I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
