I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
