I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
where does the pee come out of this thing
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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