It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
