Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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