my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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