end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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