Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
its not stalking. its research.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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