return my video game
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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