I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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