I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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