so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
