I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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