I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize
