wrigley field is MILF paradise
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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