I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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