He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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