google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
