It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
