why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The beer is more important than you right now.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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