So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
