If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
