So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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