Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
