Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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