I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
