I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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