cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
