I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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