did you get engaged???
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
