i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
