Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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